Want to read a bit?

Here is the first page of a short story I should have for sale online soon.  I hope to have it published by Amazon Publishing which will be available for use with the Kindle app.  Please read and give me your feedback.  Does it sound interesting.  You are getting the first look, never before seen by the public.  You guys are so lucky!  lol...


I gasped for air suddenly just fighting to breath.  I forced open my eyes, which previously felt as if they were sealed shut.  I couldn’t see anything at first.  Then after a few moments I began noticing the flickering of shadows and light.  I lie there on my back upon what seemed like the cold hardness of a concrete floor.  I didn’t know what was wrong and while lying there I had no idea what had happened.  What had taken place here and where was I?

Still lying there on the floor I noticed that I couldn’t move.  It was as if my body was not my own to control and I was a passenger just along for the ride.  As I lay there trying to gather my thoughts still unmoving, I tried using what was left of my senses to educate myself of my surroundings.  There was a ringing in my ears that masked the sounds around me.  I could hear something, a familiar sound, but couldn’t deduce what it was at first.  The sound started to become clearer.  Through the constant ringing in my ears I could hear a crackling sound.  The sound reminded me of the cracking and popping of a fresh log thrown on to a fire.  As I thought of the relaxing sound of a warm evening fire, my body flushed suddenly with terror.  I could smell smoke and it was getting thicker.  It was not the smell of a comforting fire place, but that of burned wires, carpet and plastic.  The dust of concrete hung thick in the air and almost overpowered that of the smoking fire.  It was difficult to align my thoughts as I tried to assess the situation.  What should I do? I thought to myself.  I still couldn’t move, but was starting to feel pain rising all over my body.

The pain started throbbing in my head, almost pulsing in unison with the ringing in my ears.  I knew I had to do something, but what?  I could not see clearly, and did not know where I was.  I had no remembrance of  what happened or how this ordeal started.  

Still unable to move, but gaining some feeling back slowly, I felt something wrap around both of my ankles.  Next I was being pulled across the floor.  The pain worsened as I was drug limp over debris and pulled outside of the burning structure.  That was the last thing I remembered.

When I woke again it was day and the sun was shining.  I could see again.  All  six feet of me hurt.  200 pounds of pain lying in the cool grass still covered in the morning dew.

It sounds interesting.

You're asking for feedback in the wrong place. This bunch would need a car chase or or race track mystery.

I would urge you to take the story to friends and family, or even run it by a former teacher before you publish it.

I am in the process of have some others read the full story. They have all liked it and I have made updates and changes as needed. It has been proofed 4 times and will get one last one before It goes online. The story does have three pretty cool cars in it and the main character is a gearhead that owns a customs and mechanics shop. I think you guys would like it if you read the whole thing. I just posted it to see if anyone that it sounded interesting.

Actually sounded interesting to me I love reading short stories !! Keep at it Bro, would like to see more esp if it has a certain black orange striped car in it LMAO